With Labor Day upon us and the fact that most of our jobs were shipped overseas, its a wonder we dont celebrate it in Vietnam. Each and every one of the 2016 GOP Insane Clown Posse have their own ideas for ensuring that the job cremators, their political sugar daddies, keep having it their way.
But bloviating ignoramus Donald Jacka$$ Trump, being a billionaire himself and rife with his own campaign cash, is a special kind of a-hole. When it comes to jobs and raising peoples standard of living, Trumps plan is to build a luxurious wall to keep out all of those rapin illegals.
So I figured it would be funny if I imagined 5 Ways Donald Jacka$$ Trump Celebrates Labor Day:
- Get out of bed made out of cash and dead union workers and take a dump on a copy of Elizabeth Warrens book.
- Has his Lithuanian maid fetch him his bathrobe made out of the 47 sewn-together hides of endangered species all while he explains how much he loves that it was made in Chinese sweatshops for pennies on the dollar.
- Has his maid pour him a glass of mercury-laden tap water, all while he happily explains how he loves that industry gets to dump tons of chemicals into nearby drinking water reservoirs, with taxpayers footing the bill.
- Gets dressed and has his personal pilot fire up the jet. While on said jet, he gleefully explains why he doesnt give a living crap about roads being unpaved and dilapidated since…he has his own private jet.
- Finally, arrives at a campaign rally where he screams about Obama being a socialist and not lowering taxes on his fellow
corporationspeople, as well as ranting about Mexicans ruining America. Then, when the cameras are off, he and his fellow corporationsfriends laugh and smoke Cuban cigars, all while denouncing Obama normalizing relations with Cuba.
Featured image via video screen capture from YouTube
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and ImpressionsGuy.com